Aint No Mountain High Enough

I wondered if I could trade my body with somebody else in magazines
With the whole world full at my feet
I phantom worthy and would blame my failures on the ugliness I could see
When the mirror looked at me
Sometimes I feel like the little girl who doesn’t belong in her own world
But I'm getting better
And I'm reminding myself

Last night I was at a shin-dig with my running team, and one of my team-mates confessed that her daughter, a fantastic runner, has heart trouble.

And my heart sank.

I can't even imagine how terrible it would feel to be told you can't run. Something that has become every part of me, something that has become my salvation, my religion, my saving grace. It's so sobering to think that some people just can't. And not because they are too fat, too lazy, have "bad knees".

I can't imagine how it feels to want to do something more than anything but you can't, and never will.

Nowhere to Run.

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told
somebody tell me why I'm on my own
if there's a soulmate for everyone

Here we are again, circles never end
how do I find the perfect fit
there's enough for everyone
but I'm still waiting in line

It hurts when you are the only one who isn't there. The only one who will never reach the bar, because just when you get there it gets pushed up a little more.

The one who always feels like nothing is ever right. The one who is never told that it's okay to screw up, its okay to make mistakes, its okay to be dumb.

Never told you're okay, you done good, maybe for a moment, you weren't so dumb.

It's like there's a wound in my back and it just keeps getting poked. And I try not to flinch. I try not to do anything but smile. And I try everything not to be dumb.

Why can I never be good enough, why am I always just not good enough.

Why can't I do anything right.