There's No Home For You Here.

Broken glass, broke and hungry
Broken hearts and broken bones
This is where we used to live

Buying my first home was supposed to be one of the best times of my life.

Instead it's a nightmare and one of the worst things I've ever done.

Why am I not surprised?

This used to be a Funhouse, but now its full of evil clowns.

S.O.S. she's in disguise
S.O.S. she's in disguise
There's a she wolf in disguise
Coming out, coming out, coming out.


Depending on someone, anyone makes my tummy turn.

Depending on someone I don't know makes me loose sleep, grind my teeth, break out in acne, cold sores and give up eating.

It's MY home. It's my FIRST home.

Get out.

I wanted to remember this as the big step it is - not as the day I took three useless girls to court.

Argh.

#!@$%&

Reach Out, I'll Be There.

There's a place in the sun
Wheres there's hope for everyone
Where my poor restless heart's gotta run.

Mental Health nursing is hard - pediatric mental health nursing is harder.

Tiny souls broken, misplaced. Alone.

My first three days in my new job were - sad. The 11 year old who compulsively exercises. The suicidal 13 year old who can't go home but can't go where they want her to either. The furious 14 year old boy, so angry and so impulsive he stabs his classmates with pencils.

I can only imagine what if feels like to be terrified to eat.

I want to hug them all... well maybe not the stabby one.

I want to save them all - but the truth is we won't "save" any of them - we make them functional, we build them up and send them out into this cruel world - hoping their wings are strong enough to fly on their own.

Hoping that they never return, but knowing that if they do we will be there to build them up again.

And again.

And again.