Layla.

































did you give up?
did it get easier?
did all those things you wanted
come together in the end?
was i the one?
was i even There?
did you ever really notice how i
never really cared?

she smiled and looked at me and said

you don't know what it's like(what its like what its like)
you don't know what it's like(what its like whats it like)
i feel like nothing at all
you don't know what it's like(what its like whats it like)

Everyone won't admit this, but everyone also likes to be condescending... sometimes.

I like to be condescending in my own head. It's what keeps me sane. I make snide remarks, role my eyes, scrunch up my forehead and lift up the tip of my nose, in my head.

It doesn't make it right... but I know its wrong. I feel badly about it after and I think about how I would feel if that was me.

If my fashion sense was that bad, or my common sense was that lacking.

But someone I know likes to be condescending on the outside. And its demeaning. She accomplishes everything she sets out to. To make me feel like an idiot. It used to be she would only get uptight about things she thought she really knew everything about. But. Now. It seems like nothing I say can go without some form of correction.

For someone who prides herself on accepting everyone's differences she has so little tolerance for flaws. We can't all be as smart as her, and she knows it. She flaunts it. It frustrates her.

And the more I try to ignore it, the more I try to accept it and the more I try to see past it. She does it more.

So now what? I play out in my head what it would be like to tell her how I feel. She'd be condescending.

"how could you feel like that?... I'm not like that at all... so what? you don't want to be my friend?... you've got it all wrong"

In a perfect world she would admit she has been wrong. She would stand corrected for the many times she has corrected me.

The truth be known she is starting to make me feel like some sort of child and its becoming increasingly difficult to be around her without acting exactly how I feel she thinks I am.

Maybe I don't know everything she does. Maybe I never took any of the classes that she did, or read any of the books, or went any of the places. Maybe we are completely different people. But I do know lots of things that maybe she never thought of. And maybe she should just start recognizing me for who I am... me.

I am not any worse of a person because my mum pays my rent, or because I've worked the same job for the past years.... there is nothing wrong with me becaues I don't like reading the newspaper and I don't want to go where you have been. Everything that makes you different doesn't make her better and it doesn't make me worse.

I wish she would just open her eyes and look around for a bit... at least long enough to see me running away, maybe before its too late.