Christmas Is Coming.

Insomnia gets into every nook. It makes me walk around my apartment in circles. It makes me stare out the window without even looking at anything. It makes me watch bad tv movies and beg for something productive to do.

Sometime. Just something to take my mind off of how I feel.

It makes me not want to go to bed, it makes me feel sick to my stomach just thinking about having to wake up tomorrow with that feeling.

It makes me not excited for anything.

It makes me feel like there is nothing there. Like I don't know how I'm going to go on pretending like im still normal.

I don't want to be a zombie anymore. I don't want to either be nothing. Or crying. I want to be able to know when someone loves me and I want to tell the people that say they love me whats making me feel so bad.

I don't want to be sad anymore but I don't know how.