You Had A Bad Day.
















Far away from the life so young
That's when you used to know
Many dreams since then you've had have come and gone
The time might show
But stress, don't you let in, don't you forget it
Trust you'll find your way love
Hope is what your heart is made of
And don't you forget it
Don't you forget your way home
For that little girl
Hold on to your world

You've probably never known someone who is exactly like me.

I'm the one who lives through everyone else's worst case scenarios. I'm what you were predicting when you prepared for the worst. I'm the one who gave my all for something and got in return nothing that I had wanted. I'm the one who things like this would only happen to.

I'm the reason there ever was a plan z.

But I am also the one who is learning to carry on.

I've been lost for as long as I can remember. But lately I've gone from lost, to stranded, to doomed. For the past two years I made my life around a goal that I assumed was attainable. But then I found out the hard way it wasn't. Three grad school applications, three letters of reference, three statements of intent and three rejection letters. Suddenly I just wasn't as entitled as I thought I was.

And I had given up two years of my life trying.

I sacrificed friends, family, myself, to get to the point where I was left with nothing, except two rude and one promising rejection letter. A "try again next year" is better than a "who were you foolin'", at least that's what I'm told.

And when that wasn't enough even my plan b failed. They lost my transcript - and just like that my application was tossed from the pile. I could hear the secretary smile though the phone, a bazillion transcripts a day received and mines the one that goes missing.

But what did I expect? After all, shit like this does only happen to me.

And before I knew it, what I had joked about all along, was finally here.

That's when I knew that I had cared too much. I have never been in love, but I can still know what a broken heart feels like.

And the worst part is that no one understands.

Everyone said the last four years of my life would be the best I've ever had but they must have lied. I may have only been around for twenty-three but the last one was the worst. It's the one when everything thing I have been running from finally caught up to me.

But maybe its all over now. 'Cause maybe things are looking up. And as much as it hurts to say, maybe it was meant to be. I've learned that anything is possible.

And if that's true for the bad, then maybe someday it will happen for the good.

I don't know what I'm going to wear tomorrow. I don't know where I'm going to sleep next week. I don't know what this will feel like next year.

Believe what you want and say what you will because the me you assume isn't probably the me I know at all.